Our Theoretical Date

So this guy Adam refuses to go out with me because he thinks he is one of many guys, and doesn’t want to be just another one in the pack.

Tonight he asked me to entertain him with a story.

Tell me a story then! lol

About what?

Anything- or send me some pics! I’m bored silly too.

Ha ha. Aren’t you working still?

Yeah, but it’s dead.

Awwww… Poor baby.

Yeah- feel bad for me.

I do. Soooooo sorry.

So you you going to entertain me?

How should I do that?

However you’d like-

Ha right. So there was once this guy named Adam… And he started talking to this awesome girl named Kristin.

Seriously! Go on!

Yeah. And Adam thought he was hot stuff. A real catch, you know? And this Kristin girl was seriously awesome. A true gem, one of a kind…

Continue-

So neither Adam or Kristin had met, they had been exchanging messages. they had found out they had so much in common!They attended the same college, with the same major, and they even taught in the same school in Saint Paul, only a few years apart. It was quite the coincidence!

True story!

One day, Kristin did something completely out of her character, she asked Adam if they could meet.

lol

Adam was apprehensive. He knew he was quite the catch, and even though he knew of Kristin’s awesomeness, he didn’t want to be just some “guy she was dating.” He wanted someone who could be all in, not just see him as “Saturday guy.” Kristin was puzzled. She liked to meet people sooner, rather than later. This plagued her when she initially talked to Adam because he certainly seemed like the kind of guy she would enjoy spending time with. Kristin thought about all of the ways she could show Adam that he wouldn’t be “just another date.” Tell him about an awesome Friday night home alone? No, too pathetic. Or ask him to meet her every day until he agrees? No, too desperate.

Finally, one day Adam gave in. He agreed to meet Kristin and stop torturing her. She was both nervous and excited as they had conversed for quite some time now. Kristin fretted over what to wear. her usual first date dress? No, Adam would see right through that. She would have to choose something special…

Like?

Kristin found the perfect outfit.

Which is?

Adam and Kristin agreed to meet for a few happy hour drinks. Adam arrived first and found a seat at the bar. Kristin arrived only a few minutes later. Adam was in awe of Kristin and her indescribable beauty. He could tell she was stylish and “together.” He especially loved her shoes.

I’m curious about the outfit!

Kristin joined Adam at the bar. She gracefully slid up to the counter next to Adam. It was difficult… because she was so short, but the shoes helped. Adam was dressed appropriately and looked very handsome. They exchanges greetings. As Kristin removed her coat, Adam could smell her luxurious perfume. She smelled absolutely wonderful. Some might even describe her scent as delicious. They chatted a minute or two before the bartender took their orders. Kristin wanted to order second. While she is quite the beer snob, she didn’t want to be the only one with beer. She would follow suit if Adam ordered a cocktail.

(Choose your own adventure: Is Adam having a beer or cocktail?)

Beer.

Adam ordered a beer, so did Kristin. He was impressed. Most girls he knew only drank vodka cranberry or sex on the beach- the kind of drinks a 19 year old would order.

I wanna see the outfit!!!

Adam and Kristin enjoyed polite conversation. They laughed a lot. Kristin had some great stories, so did Adam. He even managed to her her to smile, really smile.Not just that cheesy polite smile you give strangers, but a true smile. He even thought he saw her blue eyes sparkle- just for a moment. Adam wondered why he had waited so long to meet this girl. She was truly amazing. The good times ran on and the two decided to enjoy dinner together. They walked to a nearby restaurant. Adam opened the door for Kristin. She smiled and walked inside. It had been a while since a man treated her like a lady. They found a table. It was here that Adam learned Kristin was a picky eater. Not that is was anything tragic or political, she was no crazy vegan!

They laughed and talked all through dinner. They were both having a great time, that was obvious. They moved on to hit one more local gem. Kristin was dying to show Adam her favorite local martini bar. As they arrived, the bar was full. Kristin asked to be seated in the sushi room. It was really that she loved the lush wallpaper in the sushi room. Rich hot pink with a black velvety pattern, not that it was more VIP… Okay so maybe it was both.

She ordered a delectable martini, not on the menu. Adam chose carefully after inspecting the ingredients. he knew how to mix a drink or two! The drinks arrived. They were great. Kristin’s was better, of course but Adam tried not to show his envy. They both agreed it was time to go home, after all, Kristin had to work in the morning!

Adam walked Kristin to her car. It was getting a bit chilly. They walked quickly, as it seemed to help beat the cold. As they said their goodnights, Kristin wondered if Adam would kiss her. They had a great time, so it would only make sense. Kristin had some experience in this area: If a guy doesn’t try to kiss her goodnight after a date, he is not interested. It’s simple, but effective. It also saves her the hassle of sending an unneccessary “Thank you for a nice night” text afterward.

The goodbye was taking a little too long. Both were chilled to the core.

I’m always shy to make the first move, whether or not I’m completely interested!

Kristin hoped he would lean in and kiss her… Adam extended his arms as to take her in for a hug. She complied.As they broke out of the hug, Adam’s arm still at her back, he kissed her. Nothing earth shattering, but he didn’t want to scare her. He knew he could make girls swoon with a a single peck.

Haha

Kristin returned the kiss, She shyly smiled and got in her car to go home. She smiled to herself in the mirror. What a great night. Adam walked to his car. When he arrived home he sent her a text thanking her for a great evening. He asked to see her again.

Kristin smiled when she recieved Adam’s message. She sent him one back.

It read: “Of course. “

Sooooo….

I like the thought of that…

Glamor Shots

You would be impressed or disgusted on how many guys have figured out to use glamor shots. Not like the actual Glamor Shots, but pictures that make them appear more attractive than they actually are in person.

This is one of those stories.

I met this guy outside of Uptown Cafeteria (again, right?). I was shocked about how much shorter and unattractive he was than I had remembered. Yikes. That was all I could think about while on this date. He had so many other “winning” qualities like: he lived at home, unemployed, recent college graduate.

So basically, he had no money and sits on his parents’ couch eating cocoa puffs and watching daytime TV. Oh, and did I mention he isn’t cute yet?

No, thanks.

I’m Gonna Take You To The Gay Bar

I met this guy from Orange County, California. He worked downtown as a political researcher. If you know me at all, politics are so not my thing. I was in the student government in college (impressive, right?) but general politics and things of that nature don’t particularly interest me. This date was already set-up to fail, right?

We met downtown at Brit’s on Nicollet Mall. I was wearing a scandalous new dress and some big heels. He was a good date and brought drinks to our table on the upper level. I could definitely tell he was from Cali. People who are from there (especially with money) are a little on the rude side to staff in restaurants/bars. He was cute enough, but there were times where I thought he’d be better off if he didn’t talk. He walked me to my car and texted me when he got home.

We went out a second time, this time to Uptown Cafeteria and sat on the sky bar. We had some more drinks and he said he was surprised to hear form me again. He hadn’t thought we established any kind of “real” connection. It was true, I wasn’t sure about going out again, but I like second dates to make sure I was right the first time or to prove me wrong. Not everyone is worth a second look, but if the date was average I’ll try again.

We had a couple drinks and then he agreed to meet my friends downtown at Jetset. I fully informed him that Jetset was a gay bar. He was fine with it, in fact a little excited. With his Minnesota beard he thought he could get a guy to buy him a drink. We met my friends, ordered drinks, and made our way to the dance floor. He was being awfully possessive, as if he needed to prove he was straight.

He asked me if I would be upset if he went outside to smoke. I really don’t mind, I don’t smoke or anything but it’s your life. Literally. After 10 minutes we started to wonder where he had gone. We searched high and low for him, and the bar is NOT that big. I texted him and he said he had gone home. Apparently I was “more interested in my friends than [him.]“

WELL.

That was hardly the case. My friends kept saying how adorable he was and that I should try to keep him. We all judged wrong, because I got a text not long after that telling me that if I wanted to come over and “hook-up” that would be fine with him, but this has no real potential. Whoa. I did go over there, but to tell him in person that you can’t treat people that way, and that he was crazy.

 

Better than okay.

So this guy we call “Hot Saint Paul Guy.”

I had just started talking to this guy and I came home to my roommate throwing some kind of party. I asked him to meet me at Liquor Lyle’s on Hennepin. I was wearing my work clothes, which are typically cute, but nothing special. I even wore sandals, which is so terrible. You always want to put your best foot forward then meeting new people.

So upon meeting him I noticed two things right away. One, he was a little on the short side (5’7). Two, he was way more attractive than I had anticipated. He told me that he’d been working out and had lost a bunch a of weight, but this was no where NEAR what I had expected. He had seemed pretty average before…

We had some drinks at Lyle’s and some good conversation. The bar was unusually busy for a Sunday and I had to sit in a booth, which I was not exactly thrilled about. We had a good time. He told me that he may have contracted AIDS from using their bathroom. Truth is, that bathroom is pretty nasty, but I still love Lyle’s! I had invited this guy out, not thinking of it as a “date” but he kept saying things like “Oh, are you looking for your other date” and kept referring to himself as my date…

We parted ways and he told me that next time I had to venture to his city… Downtown St. Paul. We met outside of his apartment building the following week and went to Bulldog in Lowertown. We ran into one of his professors and said hello. We enjoyed some drinks and more conversation. Like a good “date” he totally paid.

He invited me over to watch some Russel Brand comedy he had on DVD. While we were over at his place he kept trying to tickle me and I kept moving away. I don’t like being tickled. I had a good time, but at the same time I don’t think he’s right for me. We both got busy with our lives and we haven’t really talked much after that.

Recently, he told me that he moved and his new roommate is crazy… but that they are “just friends” and he needs to get out of there. He wants to live in a house instead of an apartment. I told him I could do it as long as it was in the city and cheap. I didn’t really mean it. I’d never want to live in a house and do yard work. He told me “I’d prefer if you never touched my yard.” Ha.

Have a Nice Life.

This was a promising guy for a while…

We initially met at Uncommon Grounds for some coffee. We spent so much time there that we ended up going out to dinner down the block. It was really fun. he was definitely the most “alternative” looking guy I’ve dated. Lots of piercings/tattoos. I certainly don’t have a problem with that… Actually I like it. I’m so clean-cut looking, but I have a soft spot for tough looking guys.

He worked at Psycho Suzi’s as a cook. My friends really thought I needed to find a bartender there so that we could get free drinks. Apparently he was useless for that. Oh well, he was cute.

So coffee and dinner was super successful. We went out a few more times and then I had a party I needed to go to and my friend cancelled at the last minute. I asked this guy to come with me. It was a 90s themed party, so the point was to dress up in 90s fashion. I was Britney Spears circa the ‘Baby One More Time’ video. He decided to go as Justin Timberlake during the N’SYNC years. Everything went well at the party, I could leave him on his own and he made new friends. I was overall very pleased with him.

He invited me over to his place for our next date. Please know that he had ADVANCE notice, at least 4 days. So I showed up to his fancy apartment building in Minnetonka. Not only was the apartment messy, it was on the verge of dirty. Like candy wrappers on the floor. I also noticed his socks were not matching in a very obvious way: One black, one white with a giant hole in the heel.

Really?

I tried not to let it bother me, but you know it did.

I still went out with him a few times after that, but he was having some personal problems that he didn’t want to bother me with. Like two weeks went by where my 3 texts/2 calls weren’t returned. I was done at this point. I sent one final (immature) text: Guess we’re done here. Have a nice life.

I got a response all about how he hasn’t talked to anyone blah, blah, blah. Give me more time, I didn’t mean to ignore you, etc. Yeah, I really don’t care. If you can’t talk to me about it, we aren’t that serious.

Finished.

Be A Man… Really.

So this is where things get interesting…

I dated this guy longer than most you’ve read about here… A whopping month maybe? It didn’t help that he lived in St. Cloud. It was fine at first. He was cute, but in the long run WAY too shy… and WAY too girly.

We had some fun dates in St. Cloud at the wine bar and some more fun dates at 331 and other hipster places. This guy was super attentive, but it got to be too much for me. When things started up it was cute texts, a phone call here and there… but I started to get bored with him.

I have say this up-front. I have a strong desire to be with a man who is man-ly. The kind of guy who is tough, pays for his dates, knows when to make a move, etc.

This guy failed.

He looked the part… until he shaved his beard and didn’t even leave sideburns. I love sideburns. We also watched some movies at my house one night and this was the real turning point. We were on the couch and HE tried to cuddle up on ME. Let’s think about this… I’m 5′ and he’s 6′ tall… It just doesn’t work. I felt like a childhood doll. If y’all can remember this far back, but like Elmyra from Tiny Toons?

This is how I felt.

Ugh. So over it.

It was a fatal turning point. I just can’t date a man that doesn’t act like one.

 

I went to some trivia with his friends and he failed to introduce me to them right away and I just felt like a tag-along. He’s apparently “bad at introductions” he claimed…

Well I’m bad at answering his phone calls and texts now.

Is Age Just A Number?

I went out with this obscenely attractive older man to Lyndale Tap House on a Friday night. He found me jumping over the giant puddles in my high heels making my way to pay for parking. I didn’t want to get my feet all wet! We had apps and some delicious beer while we chatted about life and things of that nature.

It was interesting because he was 12 years my senor. He was also the youngest child in his family. He has siblings older than my parents.

That made me feel strange.

It didn’t bother me that he was so old, because he was still attractive. My whole philosophy on the age thing is this: You’re as old as you look, feel, and act.

I do have problems with dating guys who are my age or younger but LOOK old. You shouldn’t be 23 and look 33. Maybe it wouldn’t matter so much if I didn’t look so much younger than I actually am. That being said, you also shouldn’t be 33 and act like you’re 23. Most girls just find that annoying, myself included.